![]() "We all see the world differently depending on how we were raised," Anthony says. Trying to see the other side of the story is key to resolving difficulties. Use 'I.' For example, say, 'I'm not understanding this correctly,'" rather than barking, "You're not making any sense!" "People should not use accusatory language. "Once the emotion is under control, then go to the other person to talk about things." It's important in this initial conversation to think about how each word can be perceived. ![]() "Don't try to solve anything when the situation is heated," Crescitelli says. Specialists also can help people broach difficult subjects at the right time and in the right mental place. In other words, board members have to remember not to go the junior high route talking behind someone's back or trying to work through another board member to get their message across. "Things that start small and should stay small can get big when people go to other people to talk about it and don't go to the people they need to be talking to," Crescitelli says. And those lines of communication should be direct between the two parties involved. Conflict resolution specialists can help individuals open up the lines of communication and work out the issues at hand. If conflicts have gotten so contentious that they have impaired the ability of the board to conduct business, then it is most definitely time to bring in some outside help. "What ' Person A' thought it was about, was not at all what ' Person B' intended. "Sometimes something just isn't clear to someone," he adds. Trouble also arises from simple misstatements. "A position implies, 'This is where I'm at and everyone else is wrong." "Problems happen because someone states a belief that is interpreted as a position," Crescitelli says. "A lot of the time what develops into animosity starts out as a simple policy disagreement and builds from there," says Lindy Crescitelli, also of Peace Dynamics.Īs with any argument or conflict, taking a moment or two to really listen can go a long way toward solving the problem and helping one side understand what the other is really saying. ![]() The ugliest fights can start out seemingly insignificant in nature. And sometimes those solutions are born out of conflict. People in disagreement with one another "should explore options, because oftentimes, those options are solutions. "It helps to have a strong leader to encourage people to think outside the box," Anthony adds. "If people get locked into a win-lose environment, they're setting themselves up to fail." "People don't always have to agree, but they do have to try to understand where people are coming from," says George Anthony of the conflict resolution consulting firm Peace Dynamics Consultants. Sometimes, simply recognizing that disagreements will occur amounts to half the battle. A warring board is a troubled board -so here are a few ideas that may help your board get through the tough times and avoid major conflicts among members. It's just the nature of the beast different personalities, different experiences with even a little dose of stress can turn the most friendly colleagues into squabbling combatants. In short, it's a job with a lot of pressure-and that's why, when you put six, nine or a dozen board members in a room together, tensions may rise and conflicts may erupt. You feel like you're always in the spotlight and sometimes you feel that even your best may not be enough. They can vote for you, or they can choose not to vote for you if you do something they dislike. Fellow residents look to you to solve problems. Sometimes being on the board of a co-op or condo is like being a politician.
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