He was cute enough, but the only thing I felt was nauseous. There was a night when I was out at a bar with my friends and a very nice guy was flirting with me. ![]() Then, as my writing career began to gain traction, I started to feel better about myself I put a little more effort into my appearance, and I even went out with friends once or twice. I often logged long hours at weird times, so even if I did want to go out and meet someone, I was too fucking tired to do so. I threw myself into my career instead, and spent most of my time working. And let’s be honest, a lot of guys my age aren’t rushing to be in a relationship with a single mom, especially one that lives with her parents, even if it’s something that is completely physical.Īfter breaking up with my son’s father, I was in a bad place mentally, and no amount of sex was going to fix that. I didn’t want to have to answer any of their questions about who I was with or what I was doing, and I was too old to run around and lie about it. That was an issue when I was in my early-20s and didn’t have a kid it was even worse as a 30-year-old with a toddler. I had a kid who was hyper-attached to me, and I couldn’t leave him for long periods of time when he was little. I was so exhausted that I didn’t even have the energy to realize what I was missing. Now, three years have passed, and I’m still on the fence when it comes to my feelings about sex.Ībstaining from sex is pretty easy when you’re a single mom to an infant, and then a toddler. With all of the other things going on in my life, it was easy to shut off that part of myself. But I knew sex wasn’t the solution.Īs an almost 30-year-old single mom, I just didn’t have it in me to go looking for sex. As the cracks began to turn into craters, my close friends kept suggesting they needed to “get you (me) laid.” To them, all my problems could be solved with a good romp in the sheets with some guy. Over time, our relationship slowly began to crumble. The last time I had sex, my son’s dad and I were still together. As he blew out the candles on his cake, I silently blew out candles on my own imaginary cake: “Happy not having sex for three years.” ![]() The last time I had sex was on my son’s 1st birthday - and he just turned 4.
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